Having thought during the afternoon

Other then using my lappy,I was thinking about the life that I'm going to had for the present and future..Thought of lots of stuff and thinking at what age I plan to die..lol..quite stupid right?I also thought that why am I born in this world or in this family,the relationship between my two sisters and I are not very close,we quarrel often thus making our parents angry and upset.Then my two sisters will always gang up and quarrel with making me at the losing end thus getting scolded and said by my parents and sisters..useless person like me.lol..So i always go out in the night with my friend while waiting for my family to sleep then I return to my so called home and will use the computer or my lappy till 4-5am before sleeping.Then I would usually wake up at 9-10 plus but I will force myself to sleep and the moment I wake up I would usually ask my friend if they going out as I don't really like to see my family.stupid act of mine again..Haiz,complicated life..If I can just die at the age of maybe early 20s,I think I can help to clear the burden that I'm giving to my family.What is really life??It is when everything is so called "perfect" or complicated or even both?Is my way of thinking life stupid?